New Year's Resolutions and Why I Can't Stand Them

And just like that, 2024 is nearly at an end! If you’re anything like me, the holidays offer a time to reflect on the past year and look forward to the next. No matter how bad your 2024 was, 2025 offers a chance at a fresh start. The New Year is a natural source of one of the most precious commodities we have: hope. In this case, hope for a better future.

But it doesn’t last very long.

For most people, getting ready for the new year starts with making a few New Year’s Resolutions. Historians have traced the origin of New Year’s Resolutions all the way back to the Babylonians, approximately 4,000 years ago. Even then, people collectively looked at the new year with fresh eyes and motivation to live better lives.

What will your New Year’s Resolutions be?

How many will you still be implementing by the end of March?

Statistically? None. NONE!

Which is precisely why New Year’s Resolutions are the WORST.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Are Ineffective

Now, I’m not saying that looking forward to a new year with excitement and willingness to change is bad. Those things are great! But New Year’s Resolutions just aren’t effective methods of lifestyle change. Let’s take a look at the facts:

According to the Forbes Health/OnePoll survey, out of 1,000 respondents, these were the most common New Year’s Resolutions for 2024:

·      Improved fitness (48%)

·      Improved finances (38%)

·      Improved mental health (36%)

·      Lose weight (34%)

·      Improved diet (32%)

All amazing things to focus on! But how long do people actually stick with their New Year’s Resolutions?

Not long at all. In fact, people give up on New Year’s Resolutions so quickly that it’s spawned several new holidays, like Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day on January 17th, and Quitter’s Day on the second Friday in January. As pictured below, the most common length of time people stick with their New Year’s Resolutions is 2-3 months.

So, why don’t New Year’s Resolutions actually cause us to make sustainable lifestyle changes? Because they focus on motivation and goals and not the WHY behind them.

The Problem with Motivation

Motivation definitely has its place in the process of self-improvement, but it’s not the end-all-be-all. It’s often the catalyst for great change, but it doesn’t have anything to do with long-term improvement. If we only ever did things when we felt motivated to do them, we would never do anything consistently. We are wired to do things that make us comfortable and avoid the things that cause discomfort. Motivation overrides this natural process, but only for a short period of time.

The most common problem with New Year’s Resolutions is staying motivated. This is in part because motivation focuses on the result you want to achieve, not the steps you take to get there. For example, one of my New Year's Resolutions (every single year ever) is to lose weight. It would be safe to say that I am motivated to lose weight. I'm not motivated by the steps it takes to lose weight, I'm motivated by the result of losing weight (looking better in my clothes, feeling healthier, etc). I'm NOT motivated to exercise every day when I don’t feel like it. I'm NOT motivated to stick to a calorie deficit when I'm at a friend’s house and they’re serving my favorite dessert (which is literally any cookie on the planet, so I am frequently NOT motivated...). I'm only motivated by the end result, not the habits I have to implement consistently to get there. And once the motivation is gone, there goes the New Year’s Resolution and any hope at real change.

Goal Setting and Satisfaction

The other problem with New Year’s Resolutions is that most of them are structured like goals. Goals can be great, but they can also hold you back. They give you something to strive towards, but they can decrease your level of satisfaction and happiness. That’s a crazy thought, right? How can setting goals make you unhappy?

Let me give you a personal example.

When I was in college, I put forth a tremendous amount of effort to not take out any student loans during school. I continued applying for scholarships throughout the entirety of my college career, worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs at once, and weighed each decision against that one goal. I did achieve it! Woot, woot! However, it cost me my college experience.

When I started school, I was in a dorm with the rest of the Honors Program students. After 1 semester, I moved out of that dorm and into another one so I could be a junior Resident Assistant. Through that job, I got a solid discount on my housing costs, which helped me with my goal. But I left all of my classmates behind, and they all formed amazing friendships that I just wasn’t a part of. When I look back, I see what that goal cost me. I told myself that I would be happy once I got through school debt-free. I was so focused on the future that I didn’t pay attention to the happiness I could’ve experienced in the moment. That’s not to say that my goal was bad. It’s a very good goal!

My focus was bad. I was focused on the end result, not the process. If I had been more focused on enjoying the process, I would’ve made different decisions along the way. Just because you are not where you want to be, doesn't mean you can’t enjoy where you are now.

Motivation is fleeting. Goals can actually set you back. You can’t just list out goals and hope to stay motivated to achieve them.

With New Year’s Resolution season right around the corner, what can you do instead?

Finding Your Why

Focus on who you want to be instead of what you want to do. Then, once you've established your "why," lay out a plan for how you are going to get there.

I read Atomic Habits by James Clear earlier this year, and it absolutely changed my life. Clear talks about how habits can only change if your identity changes with them. If the things you are constantly doing don’t line up with the person you think you are, then you won’t do them long-term. So, instead of New Year’s Resolutions, try this:

List out all of the things you want out of your life. What are your dreams? What are the things you want to accomplish before your time on Earth is done? Do you want to write a book? Have a large, close-knit family? Start a successful business? Do a TED talk?

Then, list out the characteristics you want people to remember you by when you aren’t in the room. Do you want to be a leader? Kind? Influential? The best friend anyone could have? List out all of the character traits you want to embody.

Now, take a look at your habits. Cross reference your current habits with the things you want and who you want to be. What new habits do you need to create in order to be the person you want to be? What habits do you need to break?

Bam! Modified New Year’s Resolutions. You still have goals (habits you need to create/break to be who you want to be), but now you also have a reason to achieve them. When your motivation falters, refer back to the list of things you want and traits you need to be the person you want to be. The next pic is what mine list looks like!

It’s a lot easier to stay consistent when you know the why behind your what. But setbacks will still come. Life happens. Your kids will get sick and keep you up all night. You’ll reach a point where you want to make excuses for not doing the things that are important. Sometimes, those excuses will win. Guess what? THAT’S OKAY. The important thing is to keep going. Every day is a new opportunity to get just a little bit better.

Exercising for 5 minutes is better than not at all. Writing 5 sentences a day is better than not writing at all. Listening to an audiobook in the car for 5 minutes on your way home from work is better than not reading at all. If you have identified a change you need to make to live the life you want to live, then make the change. If it’s worth doing, then it’s also worth doing when you can’t do it at 100%.

Eventually, these new behaviors become engrained in you. You start wanting to do them, needing to do them in order to feel good about your day. They become easier, and eventually, you will stop having to think about them. You will stop having to rely on motivation to carry you through to true change.

In light of the coming new year, I encourage you to read Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s not too long, and it is FULL of practical ways to implement true change in your life. New years are the perfect time for new beginnings, new beliefs, new identities. So, please, stop making New Year’s Resolutions. Instead, have a New You Revelation! (Lol...too cheesy?)

Figure out who you want to be, and make the changes from there.

Life is too short to live it one day at a time. Don’t get caught up in the thick of thin things. Instead, focus your effort today on the things that will make you a better person tomorrow.

That’s the ultimate goal, right?