Embracing Your True Self: Steps for Authentic Living

Have you ever felt like you’re just going through the motions? Like you’re wearing a mask that doesn’t quite fit? Like you're watching your life happen instead of actually living it?

Do you ever find yourself doing things that you don't actually want to do, just because you always have?

I’ve been there more times than I can count. The good news? You don’t have to stay stuck in that place. Authentic living isn't some mystical, unreachable ideal. It’s a journey, a series of steps you can take to finally be you - the real you.

Why Authentic Living Matters More Than You Think

You might be wondering, “How do I know if I'm living authentically or not?" Well, are you exhausted all of the time? Do you struggle to find joy? Do you feel like you aren't actually doing anything with your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may not be living authentically.

When you don’t live authentically, you’re basically living someone else’s life. The life that everyone around you told you to live because it made their own lives easier. And that’s exhausting. You lose touch with what truly makes you happy, what sparks your passion, and what gives your life meaning.

Authentic living means showing up as your true self, unapologetically. It’s about aligning your actions with your values, even on days when life is hard. When you do that, life feels lighter, more vibrant, and yes, more joyful.

How to Start Your Journey Toward Authentic Living

Okay, so you’re ready to ditch the mask. But where do you start? Here are some practical steps that helped me start living a more authentic life. Hopefully they help you too!

1. Get to Know Yourself (Really Know Yourself)

You need to establish your identity, because it will shape who you are, what you do, and what you believe. So, if you want to live authentically, you need to get to know the real you. Sounds simple, right? But how often do we actually pause and ask, “Who am I?” Not the version you think others want to see, but the real you. What are your values? Your passions? Your quirks? Your fears?

Try journaling or even talking out loud to yourself. Ask questions like:

• What makes me feel alive?

• What drains my energy?

• When do I feel most like myself?

• What do I truly want out of life?

  
  

This self-awareness is the foundation of authentic living. Without it, you’re just guessing. Want to learn more about discovering your identity? Check out my post on Identity

2. Embrace Your Imperfections

Here’s a secret: nobody’s perfect. Not even those Instagram influencers with flawless feeds and great hair. Authenticity means embracing your flaws, your mistakes, and your weird little habits. It’s what makes you human. I mean, we can always get better, but don't be so caught up in your imperfections that they discourage you from doing things that actually make your life worth living.

I have a goal of posting at least 1 article on my blog each week, preferably on Mondays. Last week, I didn't post until Tuesday. Now, I could've used that mistake as an excuse to stop writing. But what good would that do me? Mistakes don't make you a failure. Quitting does.

Next time you catch yourself hiding a mistake or feeling ashamed, pause. What if you flipped the script and owned it? What if you gave the mistake just enough space for you to learn from it, and then you let it go? You might be surprised at how freeing that feels. My #1 Rule is that my mistakes from today don't follow me into tomorrow. Tomorrow, I get the opportunity to try again!

3. Surround Yourself with Real People

If you truly want to live authentically, you will either outgrow your friends, or they will grow with you. Seek out people who accept you as you are, who encourage your growth, and who aren’t afraid to be real themselves. You should be friends with people who challenge you. Your friends shouldn't feel threatened by your self-improvement. Your friends shouldn't want you to make yourself small so they feel big. Your friends should be people you love and cherish exactly how they are, and they should show you the same courtesy.

These kinds of friends can be hard to find, so when you do, make it count!

4. Take Small Risks

You've been doing things the same way for a long time, and the results are subpar. Being authentic often means stepping out of your comfort zone. It'll be a little scary at first, but the more actions you take that align with your true self, the easier it gets and the more evidence you build up that confirms who you really are.

Maybe that looks like sharing your true opinion in a meeting or trying a hobby you’ve always been curious about. Or maybe it's keeping a commitment to yourself, even on the days you'd rather throw in the towel. These small acts of courage build your confidence and reinforce your authentic self.

Practical Tips to Keep You on Track

Let’s be real—living authentically isn’t a one-and-done deal. It’s a long, bumpy road. And for most of us, the path to embracing our true selves is NOT a straight one. There are felled trees, forks in the road, and the occasional mountain to climb. Some tips to keep moving forward:

• Check in with yourself regularly. Try journaling every night and giving yourself a grade. As an overachiever, grading myself at the end of each day helps me to focus on my entire performance as opposed to the 1 or 2 mistakes I made. My overall grade is always better than I think it will be!

• Celebrate your wins. Even small steps toward authenticity deserve a high five. Take note of your wins. Take a picture you can look back on later, or make a quick note. These little moments can be a great confidence boost on the days when you struggle to find a win.

• Practice self-compassion. You’re going to slip up. That’s okay. Be kind to yourself and get back on track. Don't let today's mistakes follow you into tomorrow.

• Limit social media comparison. It’s a trap! Social media never tells the full story. Don't let someone's highlight reel make you feel bad about your entire life. I promise there's is full of junk, too.

• Keep learning. Read books, listen to podcasts, or join communities focused on personal growth. The journey to living authentically never actually ends, it just changes. As you grow into the person you were meant to be, you're able to do more, be more, and get more out of your life.

  
  

Why You Deserve to Live Authentically

If you’re still hesitating, let me ask you this: what’s the cost of not living authentically? Stress? Anxiety? Feeling stuck? Life is too short to spend it pretending. You deserve to wake up excited about your day, to pursue what lights you up, and to build relationships that nourish your soul.

Remember, authentic living is a gift you give yourself - and the world. Marianne Williamson said it best:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Living authentically isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about choosing yourself every day, even when it’s hard. So be bold, be messy, be real. Your true self is waiting.

You've got this, friend.